Posts Tagged ‘bills



Gee, remember when I said that I needed to call Comcast? Argh! Please enjoy the irony resulting from me starting a blog and having my Internet shut off in the same week!

Yes, I guess that this was a calculated risk that I chose to take. About 3 weeks ago I got a bill for nearly $600. Apparently they had stopped auto-deducting for no reason and I was in arrears. Well, shit! I wasn’t super excited about paying the delinquent amount all in one fell swoop. I also would rather get a Brazilian than call Comcast customer service! Ugh! I needed to cancel the cable & keep the Internet but after a week or so they cut my cable off but the web access remained. I knew I needed to attend to the issue but wondered how long I could skate by.

Well, my answer came today I’m the form of a sexy yet somewhat hostile cable subcontractor named Greg. He disturbed my afternoon blog writing with a sharp “cop knock” applied to my front storm door. No doorbell for this fella. Heck no! After giving him a good scan through the peephole and being satisfied at finding him standing in the yard rather than on the porch, I opened the door. Greg informed me in a rich, baritone voice that he was here to collect the cable box and modem and do my disconnect. Poop. Did we have an appointment?

I asked him exactly that and inquired if it was possible to return the equipment and keep the Internet hooked up. He gave me this sort of blowoff “I’m just here to do the disconnect unless you want to pay the account in full” response. I said “okay, so how much would I need to give you in order to do that?” This seemed to completely knock him for a loop. He said “well, you’ll have to contact customer service. I have to do the disconnect regardless.” Thus began a little back and forth where I pointed out that he just contradicted himself and asked whether he was doing the disconnect regardless or if he could prevent it if I paid the full balance. I should say that I was using my most polite and reasonable tone throughout the exchange.

Tough collector/disconnector guy Greg finally said “look, ma’am, I’m not here to go back and forth and negotiate with you…” I said “no, absolutely. And I’m not attempting to negotiate, I am just trying to clarify your previous statement that you don’t need to disconnect if I pay the full balance.” Defeated, he said “yeah, I’m sorry. That was inaccurate. You need to contact customer service and get re-connected. But you really should do that anyway because you should close this account. You were really paying way too much a month.”

Oh I see, now we’re pals. I went inside and disconnected the equipment. I brought it out and got a receipt and we talked a bit. Suddenly he’s Mr. Chatty and even…um…is my radar off or is he being flirty? Jesus. He’s like 25! I’m in yoga pants! But I go with it and briefly consider making one if those corny porno scenes come true. Young cable guy with hard hat & tool belt and a voice that sounds like melted chocolate? Yum. I decide to push my luck as he tells me it’s his last day working in my area. I suggest that he could just leave the Internet on and nobody would be the wiser. I tell him that I don’t need the modem because I have my own and I see it…that moment of hesitation and consideration as he paused, partway up the ladder and thought about it. Then he turned and looked down at me with a big smile and said “yeah, sorry, I have to follow the work order. Unfortunately I don’t agree with everything they do.”

Aaawww…thanks sweetie. Sorry about your not getting laid on your last day and all. 😉 No! No! I’m a slut, after all. Exchanging goods or services for sex would make me a whore. Let’s not go there just yet!


takin’ care of bidness!

Argh! Another boring post! No sex! Blargh! But snark! There’s snark! This morning I woke up and while still in that muzzy, dreamy place, wondered why I was awake so early on a Sunday. Wait, is it Saturday? “Bitch! It’s THURSDAY – GET UP!” Ugh. The good news is that I didn’t miss my weekend after all! The bad news is that my phone rang almost immediately afterwards. Not quite 9am. Unknown number but from a neighboring area code. That it’s the same area code that S32 is from did enter my mind briefly, but mostly I was thinking about the fact that I have had a couple of people use me for references lately and it was probably someone calling about that. Normally I don’t answer unknown calls. I must not have been fully awake. I was in a weak, pre-coffee state of momentary insanity…

I’m calling for XXX can you confirm that is who I am speaking with?

Yes, that’s me.

Good morning, Mrs. XXX, I’m calling from XYZ collections about your account with ABC that has been placed with us. I see you have a balance of $241. How will you be taking care of that today?

I’m sorry, I won’t be taking care of that today.

I understand if you are unable to pay the entire amount, I could possibly break it up into a few smaller payments, but I’m afraid that not paying it is not an option.

*scoffs* Of course not paying is an option.

Mrs. XXX, this account is from over a year ago. Don’t you feel that these people deserve to be paid for their services?

Certainly. However, it is not my intention to do so today.

Mrs. XXX, may I ask why not? Is there a reason that you are unable to pay at this time?

Yes, there is. But since anything that I tell you will be used for collection purposes and I do not wish to provide you with further personal information, I am going to terminate this call at this time and wish you a good morning.

Well, I will note your account, but I have to warn you, we have no other choice than to proceed.

Very well. Have a good rest of your day.


By all means, please do “proceed” – are you really going to sue me for some piddly $241 medical bill that I overlooked paying in the upheaval of my life during the past year? Bite me.  I mean, I have been doing okay and paying my stuff in a pretty timely fashion, but an old medical bill is just not a priority under my current financially conservative guidelines. And she annoyed me. “That’s not an option.” Bitch, please. This is not my first trip to the cotillion.

Shortly thereafter, my phone rang again with another unknown call. This time I didn’t answer and the message informed me that it was my cell company calling to let me know that my bill is past-due. Okay, this I knew about and had been avoiding dealing with because it required a call to fix a mistake that they made on my account when I got my new phone. (The sales rep apparently opened a new plan on my account instead of keeping me on my existing plan. Hello additional $79.98 + tax and fees each month!) Called Sprint (I will name them because they are awesome every single time I have to deal with them!) Got money credited, put a block on one of the kids’ phones because they had recurring monthly “premium service fee” for a custom ring tone. Buh-bye, $9.99 a month! Then I paid my bill and even a little extra towards the next one. Woot! Woot!

If I were a good kid (which we all know I’m not,) I would have followed all this productivity with a call to the cable company. But I was feeling accomplished. Why destroy that with a soul-crushing interaction with Comcast?

Next, I will do some billing and invoicing for work and then if I get enough done to satisfy my industrious self, I will come back and share the next online dating adventure.

Hoping that you love both my halo and my horns! 😉 –RD


Quickies with the Risqué Divorcée!