Posts Tagged ‘cocktails

24
Apr
13

but…but…I wore sexy underwear & shaved!

I think I need a pep-talk. I’ve been giving myself one while singing and hanging out at a favorite bar and I am feeling better, but I am dismayed that I felt so…disappointed and rejected.

I know I’m supposed to be witty & entertaining, but this blog is my journal and an archive of my journey, so you get to hear about my insecurities and disappointments as well. It’s hard not to feel a little bit sad when you’re sitting home alone wearing your sexiest underwear after your “date” went home after about 40 minutes.

I know I’m being irrational. But tonight my logical and my emotional were at odds and that’s when my insecurity crept in & took a firm hold. So, after meeting my first date of the night (more on that in a sec,) I went to a nearby friend’s house to change from my slightly more “dressy” work/first meet clothes into my rockin’ hot dive bar karaoke with a sexy cowboy clothes. We’re talking skinny, ankle-zip distressed jeans, cute shoes & a faux vintage Van Halen 1984 tour t-shirt. And fantastic underwear. Black lace with nude underlay demi cup bra and black lace boy shorts. My ass looked fantastic in the undies and in the jeans. I was feeling good and had turned my nervous energy from earlier into sassy, sexy confidence.

We didn’t have a set meet time, but I had confirmed that we would both be there tonight. I packed an overnight bag because a sexy sleepover was likely given our history and his close proximity to the bar. I was looking forward to his fantastic bed and body – and singing. He’s a great singer & I hadn’t heard him since the night we met two months ago. I was looking forward to showing off and flirting and at some point having him put his hand at the small of my back and ask me back to his place. I really had imagined how it would go and was full of anticipation and excitement.

I got there around 9:40 and I saw him right away when I walked in. I went & exchanged a hug with the sexy bartender (who may or may not read this blog and who is dead sexy,) then, without having seen me, P29 went out the side door to smoke. I ordered a drink and set it down next to his at the bar and went to look through the books to see if my “theme songs” were available. He saw me when he walked in and acknowledged me and returned to his seat. I took my time finishing my task then cooly walked over (I’m being cool, remember?) I said hi & we sort of half-hugged and he said something immediately about not feeling well and not staying. He said his stomach was really upset and blamed Jack-in-the-Box. I willingly admit that he didn’t look great & he visited the bathroom soon after. I stepped outside to smoke, chatted with someone I knew out there and P29 soon followed. He asked me if he could get his jacket (that’s been living in my front closet for 2 months) from me then rather than later so that he didn’t forget. Oooohhhhh…here’s your hat, what’s your hurry? I said “sure, walk with me” and we walked together to my car.

I told him that I was really sorry that he was feeling sick and said that those weren’t the kind of moans that I liked to hear from him. He laughed at that, which was good, then said “it is what it is, but it sucks. All I wanted to do was sing.” I flirtatiously quipped “is that all you wanted to do?” To which he responded: “yeah, I have to get up early in the morning…” he was meeting a former military contact who was going to give him a job recommendation or something. I was all enthusiastic & “good for you – that’s great – good luck” and we went back inside. He did his song (swoon, panties dampen, yum…) then came back to me and we chatted some but it was loud and talking wasn’t ideal. He said he should at least stay for my first song, which he did, but he had his (other) jacket on by the time I was finished, gave me a hug and said he would talk to me soon.

Okay, the man is ill. We just had red-hot fantastic sex three days ago. I’m a terrible, greedy, heartless, self-centered bitch, right? Because there was and is a big part of me that felt like it was maybe just a polite blow-off & that he wasn’t sick in the least. UGH. I hate feeling that way! It makes me feel like I’m being needy and clingy and worst of all, suspicious – none of which I am entitled to in the least. But these are feelings after all and I can’t control that.

I also realize that this is someone who is also going through major change and transition in his life and perhaps a bit of depression. He left Afghanistan in January after a lengthy tour – his second, I believe. He’s living off his savings and hasn’t worked since he’s been back. He told me that his sleep schedule is all messed up & I know he’s been looking for work. Or rather, he’s been “being a lazy fucker” as he said, and not actively looking for work. The messiness of his apartment suggests that he’s been staying in a lot and he told me in February that he’s as unfit as he’s ever been & doesn’t like it. Though he seems to have actually put on a bit of weight between February & April. So…even if he was bowing out gracefully, it’s possible that it’s because he was feeling moody & unhappy and it has nothing to do with me.

Yet, I had my expectations (I even shaved my legs & armpits & neatly trimmed my lady business!) I’ve never been good at resetting my expectations. I like things to go the way that I plan them and man, I had some pretty specific and pleasurable plans in my head. Anyway, I was disappointed and then dismayed at the feelings that that prompted. Which sucks.

I will remind myself again that we just had amazing sex on Saturday morning and that he is not someone who does a 10-minute quickie. He’s pretty detail-oriented and last time we must have spent close to three hours enjoying each other. So…if he did have to get up early…okay. Anyway, I like “Young Brad Pitt” and was delighted to have him drift into my life. I hope he doesn’t drift out again and I hope he’s not getting weird. I mean, there’s no polite way that I know of to say “dude, you’ve had your tongue in my ass – don’t go getting weird on me now!”

Meanwhile, my earlier date went pretty well, I do believe. I’m going to start adding a descriptive modifier as well as the initial/age designation for my dates because I think it’s easier to keep track of. So, I’m going to call this one Dancing Doctor Who. Why? Because he is very involved with the blues dancing scene and also a big Dr. Who fan. His designation is R40 – not to be confused with R30 (see why I’m changing this?) No, he doesn’t look like Dr. Who but he’s sort of a little chubby and both handsome and dorky. Also kind of a chestnut ginger – something I didn’t pick up on from his photos. Imagine a slightly pudgier & nerdier Nathan Fillion if you will. We met at this really great speakeasy-type vintage bar in a historic building. Excellent place with fantastic craft cocktails and great ambiance. He was a little bit late due to traffic & let me know 20 minutes ahead of time that his bus was running late. Courteous. Tall. Funny. Nerdy. I do so love the nerdy! We talked very easily for a couple of hours and then he said that he wanted to grab some more substantive food before going to dance and asked me if I would care to join him at a nearby taco truck. Sure, why not? I’m wearing white pants, but I have a couple of changes of clothes in the car. I did mention that I was short on cash, however and assumed that a taco truck might not take a card. We agreed that I would pay for the drinks and he would pay for the tacos. Cool. Good communication. Comfortable. Witty. Much in common. Like-minded.

The “taco truck” was really more of a casual restaurant. Very good. We ate & talked some more and there was some light hand-brushing initiated by him that said “hey, what up, physical contact – I like you!” Okay, that felt pleasant & comfortable as well. I walked him to his dance space and he said it was a shame that I had other plans or he would invite me to stay and dance. Nice. We agreed to see each other again, said we enjoyed it and exchanged a couple of good, solid slightly long hugs and a chaste cheek kiss (he initiated.) Yes. I approve.

The dancing makes me a tad nervous – I don’t have any experience with it but it also looks like fun and God knows I need to exercise more! While we were discussing dance I said that I wasn’t sure if I would be good at following someone’s lead. I admit that as he was describing being the leader being confident, commanding, inventive & communicating moves to their partner and the partner needing to anticipate, meet and respond…I was absolutely thinking about sex.

Good first-meet & my first OkCupid meet-up. Someone I will see again for sure.

I really like the reverse order that I put the description of my two dates in when writing about them. It was actually pretty helpful in making me feel better by reminding me that I have options, flavors, choices, variety and people who find me interesting and attractive.

It’s almost 4:30am. I’m a stupid idiot for being up this late! Goodnight!

 

 

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25
Mar
13

miss me?

I know I’m remiss in blogging. I warned you that you would be cast aside on the weekends like children required to have a visit with their non-custodial parent. “GO SEE DADDY! Mommy needs to have some GROWNUP TIME!”

My weekend was jam-packed from the time I got out of work until about 12:30 this morning. In fact, it was busy beginning on Thursday! Thursday I was supposed to meet a new guy (R41) for coffee. I was rushing around trying to pull myself together for a good first impression and received a message from him saying that he had just awakened and could we move coffee. I immediately responded and asked “move it to later or another day?” Now, this message was sent 13 minutes before we were supposed to meet and he took another 20 minutes to respond to my question, so I was rather pissed. However, since, he’s a fireman and eventually apologized profusely, I agreed to meet him again after giving him a little bit of shit. I suggested that perhaps he might consider leading with the apology and responding promptly next time, but warned there would be no next time because I only offer one mulligan. We exchanged numbers and agreed to same time & place on Friday. I was running late on Friday, but also had a little “red flag” going off that he was going to stand me up again. I don’t know why. I hadn’t heard from him with an “on my way – looking forward to seeing you” text or anything either. I was just feeling that I was wasting eyeliner as I was getting ready, you know? I sent a text as I was leaving that said I was running about 5 minutes late. By the time I parked, it was 6 minutes after the appointed meeting time and I had not heard from him at all, nor was he in the coffee shop. There was one similarly built fella getting coffee that I knew wasn’t him, but I wished was. I briefly considered going up to him and saying “Hi, are you R?” just to see what would happen. 🙂 After 11 minutes had passed from our appointed meeting time, I sent another text saying “you = not not here & not responding. Am I reading it wrong?” A couple of minutes later he responded with “Who’s this??” and I said “Really? Okay, leaving.”

I had already left the coffee shop and it was 20 minutes after our meeting was supposed to happen when I received this flurry of texts:

Oh shit….I’m sorry!

 

I didn’t save your #

 

I got hung up at work on an emergency

 

I could almost be understanding about the work emergency. Almost. If not for the fact that it happened the day before, he didn’t communicate well either time and oh yeah, who the hell doesn’t save the phone number/contact of someone that they are interested in? People who are too busy to date or lying about their single status. Either way? Just go ahead and lose my number again, okay?

Friday lunch with an ex lover & good friend was nice – and I was looking all cute after being stood up earlier, so that doesn’t hurt! I outed this blog to him with mixed feelings, but he seemed pretty engrossed in the front page at least. While at lunch, I got a text from the guy that I was going out with on Friday night. This was a planned sleepover with the “not-so-hot-in-the-sack” guy. He’s Indian and I was having Indian for lunch, so I told him that I also planned to have Indian later. I realize that I have not ever “identified” him in previous posts, but he’s K36 and when I told him we could be fuck buddies he said “rather friends with benefits because friends do things together.” That was rather nice and sweet. Then the sex was meh, but I was giving him another shot. Also, while in bed last time he said that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend, he just wanted me one or two nights a week. Uh, honey – that’s called a boyfriend! Especially if you text me the other 5 or 6 days a week! Lord, I may need to manage this one.

Friday night, I was already tired and offered K36 the option of going out as planned or staying in and ordering a pizza. We agreed not to set a “fuck buddy precedent” and drove into Chinatown for dinner. It was pleasant and he’s really good at heating me up with a slight touch, kiss or sweet comment. As I said a few entries ago, I gave this guy a 9 in foreplay and a 3 in fucking. This time, it was probably an 8 and a 4 – which means he’s still a six. Again, he gets me soaking, dripping, puddle on the bed wet but can’t manage to actually sock it to me. He’s tentative like he’s trying not to cum every time. We managed three times in about 20 hours – the third being a BJ wherein I realized that this guy comes about 1/4 teaspoon. It’s like nothing. Very weird.

I also felt sort of like telling K36 to get out. I mean, is it rude to say “hey, thanks for the mediocre sex – now could you leave so I can either fuck myself with a dildo or call another guy over to finish me off?” I guess it is, yeah. But I feel like this guy is sort of like a fluffer – he’s great at getting me ready to go, but he’s not good at the main feature. Again, he gets tons of credit for his improved finger and tongue work and a solid A for effort!

Saturday I went out with some friends to dinner and a gay variety show. It was a blast. Seriously! Such a friendly crowd too – lots of love going around! After, I went with a different friend to a hip gay bar that was far too hip for me. Seriously. It was the first time in my life that I actually waited in line to get into a cool club just for the club – not for a concert or something. Then, just like in the movies, the doorman held his hand up at me and said “I’m stopping the line here.” I kid you not. Suddenly I’m the old, fat, straight, uncool kid. Thank God for fucking awesome, beautiful, popular, gay friends who can turn around and say “she’s with me” and suddenly I’m in! Of course it’s still way too fucking cool for me, but it was fun anyway & we wound up hanging out with some friendly and funny people. They had some fish-bowls full of condoms and I was dying to grab some, but decided to play it cool instead. Man, I really need to restock my supply!

Sunday I performed in a show then took my kids and ex out for birthday dinner for my son. I was getting texts from both R30 and K36 but had to tell them to cool it because I was hanging out with my kids. R30 was all about how beautiful I am and how he wants to be inside me. Oh man, I needed that after K36 left the other day! Late in the evening, when I was alone, we engaged in traditional phone sex – the kind where to talk voice rather than just exchanging pics and text. Of course, he still sent pics (hello, soup can dick) and also asked for them (no!) We made tentative plans for this evening which is cool.

Lately my “fuck buddies” or my “active roster” as I like to call them, have been closer to one-night stands than part of a regular rotation. I am glad to have at least two that will come back for more every couple of weeks. I’m still holding out hope for a couple of others too and have heard from both R41 and P29 this week, incidentally.

That’s all I have for now. If my tentative date for this evening falls through I will try to get back here and tell you a story or two, but I would much rather be making some new stories for you tonight. I’m really looking forward to that!

 

 

17
Mar
13

telling a guy to fuck off…before 8 am!

Arg. I think this might be my third cranky-ish blog entry in a row, but I know that some of you love me for my snark & bitchiness, right? Right? Say it! Say my name!

Last night I cooked up a bunch of corned beef and all the fixings and brought it over to my friends’ house. After we feasted, seven of us went out to a local Irish pub and started our St. Patrick’s Day revelry. Great band, great friends, excellent beers – a night of friends rather than men. In fact, one of my male friends asked if I didn’t have a date offer on a Friday night and I said no, I did – I just wanted to hang out with my pals! A most excellent, raucous time was had by all & we left around 12:30, grabbed some drive-in burgers & shakes & went back to my friends’ house & crashed pretty hard.

Side note, C43 finally “showed up” again yesterday via text and we actually had a playful, fun bantering, flirty text exchange from about 7pm, throughout the evening until around 1:30am. A rare treat for me. I love his brain and wish he wasn’t so confusing & weird, but he is.

The end of the night found me comfortably ensconced in my friends’ lovely guest room. They provided every comfort for my drunk ass! Then at 7:41am on a SATURDAY I received a text that woke me from my blissful slumber. I had a feeling that I knew who it was, but I couldn’t find my phone and nearly tore the bed apart – anxious to KILL the offender. Finally, I found it and yes, it was exactly who I thought – THOR! Asshole!

Now, I was going to write about this guy later and ask if it is possible to date someone who goes by a very stupid moniker. Who the hell calls themselves THOR, after all? He’s a POF contact – 33, tattooed & pierced, bigger guy, my type and seemed quite interested in me – and wanted to meet right away. He’s the one I call “T33” and I tried to meet last weekend but he was “busy” when it came down to it. Meanwhile, he would text me “hey mama” “hey sexy” all week and twice sent me dick pictures. Okay, so the guy has a cock like a can of Pringles. This is potentially worth putting up with some annoying habits, but he was starting to grate on my nerves. Call me old fashioned, but I guess I’d like to meet a guy before seeing his junk. Though again, nice junk. But I was getting a vibe from him that he mostly just wanted to exchange pictures and that’s all. Not my thing.

Back to the dumb name. I was trying to figure out how to reference it in the blog. I mean, seriously? How can I talk to him without sniggering? How could I refer to him to my friends with a straight face and how could I blog about his goofy name without using it? I considered calling him ZEUS or HULK or something in the blog, but now that he’s been an asshole and I’ve cut him loose, I feel fine using his “real” fake name. I mean, I’m sure it’s not the name that his mama gave him. And speaking of his mama, I’m NOT HER and him calling me “mama” was getting on my nerves as well. A fact that I had no problem sharing with him, but that he seemed to have a problem understanding. Not a big listener, this guy. Must be all his brains are in that big cock.

THOR (yes, it must be in all caps,) was also very slow to understand that our schedules are very different. We essentially work opposite hours. After an early morning text during the week I asked him not to message me before 9am. His response was to tell me how fucked up my schedule is. He’d been mildly to moderately irritating and was simmering way on the back burner because of his presumptions (that we would meet and fuck) and his inability to listen (friends before FWB, for instance.) So, 7:41am on Saturday comes a text from him saying “hey mommy” MOTHER. FUCKER. (Or not, in my case!) I finally found my phone so that I could send my livid reply:

What the fuck, man? 7:41 on a Saturday morning with that mommy shit?

Sorry, up and horny

Yeah? Fuck off! I asked you not to text me before 9. I asked you not to do the mommy shit. I think you’re not big on listening or respecting. And you woke my ass up!

Ha ha whatever bye

Yeah, whatever. BYE! What is it with guys who think that just because they are up and horny that you should be as well? This is a guy that I would have met and if we had hit it off, we could have had some nice, regular, no-strings sex. I was pretty clear about that too. But you blow it by being a pushy, immature asshole? Well, at least I found out before I wasted any condoms on him. Sheesh. Someone that self-involved and clueless is likely to be shit in the sack anyway. Not that I couldn’t get myself off on that big meat stick…but this is part of my evolution in dating: fucking vs. FWB. I have come to the amazing discovery that I can get laid pretty much whenever I want to. The thing is? I would also like to have some men that I can talk to, hang out with, see a movie, game or concert with and possibly, hang out with my friends on occasion without feeling ashamed to bring some fuck stick around. This is much more in keeping with the direction that I have taken in the dating world recently. The problem seems to be that the ones that are best in bed are not the most attractive to me as people and vice-versa. This is not always the case, but it’s sadly true quite frequently. Which is why I keep looking!

06
Mar
13

I only have time for a quickie…

I know, we’ve all heard that one, right? Now I’m going to do it to you too! I don’t have time for a huge update and frankly, I don’t know quite where to go with this one. I could transition into a “friend zone” post that would cover the guy that I saw last night and a few others. Or I could transition to “Lie to Me” and talk about getting canceled, stood up and blown off – like the guy (we’ll call him S32,) that sent me a text last night (while I was at C43s house,) canceling for Thursday. When I asked him how the rest of the weekend looked I got the “I’m gonna be real busy” response. Hmmmm…

Yet another option for where to go next is my promised topic about online spank-buddies. The internet and video-chatting has made it possible for voyeurs and exhibitionists to find a somewhat legitimate outlet for their personal proclivities – without risking arrest or even having to leave the house! I am starting to think that even though he’s really sweet and likes to talk quite a bit, that S32 may be one of those guys. Again, this is a whole other blog topic, but suffice to say: I’ve seen it and I want it. I’m also pretty keen on about 75% of the rest of the package too. Some shit that comes out of his mouth gives me pause on occasion, but he’s cute as hell and young and…energetic…and tattooed…yum! But I’m getting that vibe that you get when you are being blown off nicely – like lots of really polite and legitimate-sounding cancellations or delays. The kind that you are willing to forgive or understand (hey, I’m a reasonable person, right?) And the kind that will keep you talking…yeah. I’m thinking that maybe he just wants to “talk” – which may lead to me having to decide if I’m okay with that or not.

Meanwhile, last night was terrific fun – as it nearly always is with C43. As I tried to explain, we’re pretty firmly in the friend zone, but not all the way. I believe this to be true because, for instance,  we’re not at the point as friends where we discuss other people that we date or where friendly flirting doesn’t have an edge of discomfort. I mean, I make flirty or dirty little comments with my friends all the time just as a matter of course. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, I’m likely to make a risque comment at some point. With him…it feels…slightly dangerous. Not the good kind of dangerous that could get me face-down and furiously fucked on the sofa. The bad kind of dangerous that could lead to an awkward conversation about feelings and attraction and damage our burgeoning friendship. 

I really like the friendship. I am willing to put up with the interesting little quirks and oddities just because the companionship, conversation and common interest is so phenomenally excellent. For the most part, things flow naturally and in a friendly way – and then every once in awhile he’ll make a comment or something and I think “um, are we dating here or hanging out as pals?” Also, he’s really fucking cute and I sometimes just want to touch him. While I generally don’t spend my time pining for him, I did have a brief moment yesterday where my heart leaped and my panties dampened. I picked him up after work (he takes the bus downtown) and as he rounded the corner of his building wearing sunglasses and a big smile just for me…ugh. I may have drooled. Then we hung out for eight very fun but completely sexless hours.

When we parted ways – two hours later than the agreed “late limit” on the evening – he walked me to my car as he always, always does and we had a chaste hug. We also discussed getting together again on the weekend or next week. It’s almost like we’re seeing each other… At one point yesterday when we were hanging out something embarrassing happened and he said “oh wow, yeah, that’s really the way to sweep a woman off her feet…” um, are we dating again? Someone clue me in. Meanwhile, while I may find all of this perplexing, I am doing pretty well at not internalizing it, obsessing over it or letting it drive me crazy. I’m really enjoying this person for who he is and trying to figure out who we are or will be. We have so much fun together that I can overlook some of the frustrating habits, odd behaviors, mixed signals (or complete lack of signals,) and the worst one: not getting laid. While a number of friends have told me to drop him, I won’t. I like him. I can always get dick elsewhere. A good mind and a good friend is too precious to waste.

Oh, hey – I guess that wasn’t really a quickie, was it? Just goes to show that a man’s idea of a quickie differs greatly from a woman’s! 😉

05
Mar
13

Looking at today

I realize that I have been organizing my blog a bit like a book. I’ve brainstormed “chapters” that I have been entering as individual posts and pretty much keeping to chronological order. Hmmm. That works for a book, but makes for a slightly less “live” blog. I guess I’m trying to bring you all up to date, but I don’t want to leave out current events either. I have two dates this week – the first one is tonight.

At the moment, I am having some indecision about my wardrobe. Tonight’s guy is “C43” and he’s in the “friend zone” (an upcoming topic,) but manages to send out some pretty mixed signals. We had sex once in November and it was…promising. He was very responsive and quite attentive and for “first time sex” it was pretty good. Nothing fancy, but I would totally give him another go. Let’s put it this way: we look GREAT together on paper. He’s very much my type in terms of being smart, liberal, geeky, goofy, sexy with a little bit of meat on his bones and I have never met anyone in the world who gets all my references like he does. Not even my ex husband. No kidding. He picks up everything. It’s often startling and it’s sometimes a bit like I’m dating myself.

So why do we only work on paper? We also laugh and talk for hours in person when we get together. But getting together can sometimes be a challenge because he’s quirky. Like…doesn’t respond to half of his texts or emails and doesn’t like to talk on the phone. He also has social phobias (yet can be the life of the party if you can get him to go.) I also think he compensates for the social phobias with a bit too much booze. And maybe he’s in love with his coworker. All those are factors in keeping him in “the friend zone” though, if he pulled his head out of his ass I could totally see falling for him HARD. But I’m a realist and I know that our timing is off and I am also enjoying dating many other fellows right now. Plus, the head in the ass thing…

We’ve had very direct conversations about dating and how he really, really likes me, thinks I’m awesome, loves hanging out with me, has a ton in common with me…but there’s not “a spark” – okay, fine. My dance card is pretty full anyway, but I really do like you as a person, regardless. In fact, we both agreed that even if the relationship stuff doesn’t happen we could totally see becoming best friends.

…and yet…there’s still residual sexual tension when we’re together. Oh, and he likes to sleep with me. Without having sex. (So perplexing! So frustrating!) Our get-togethers are often date-like in nature. Last week he insisted on paying and complimented my hair, outfit and nails. The three nights that he has spent at my house as a friend? He’s had the option of sleeping in the guest room but asked to sleep with me instead. He’ll give/accept a massage or feet on him, or I’ll wake up with his thighs pressed up against my naked butt…but nothing! I’m telling you, it’s weird!

I think I have a healthy and realistic perspective – this is someone that I like and would like to have a friendship with. I wouldn’t mind fucking him because I am attracted to him, but I know that any weirdness in our relationship (such as us being asexual snuggle buddies,) is not me, it’s him. He’s weird. And yet, I like him. Now don’t lecture me – I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket! I just like him and we have fun. Belly laugh kind of fun. Regardless of the weird other shit.

Anyway, I was supposed to have a big meeting this morning that got canceled. I asked C43 if we could get together this evening since I will be in his neighborhood and also because I wanted to pick his brain after the meeting. He’s very smart and makes a good sounding board for puzzling out issues. We agreed to meet for a happy hour and I had planned to wear a skirt or dress and heels – actual “girl clothes” that he has never really seen me in before. But since my meeting was canceled (a fact which I shared with him,) I have no reason to dress up…well, other than the date that’s not a date. So here’s where I am right now: I would like to dress up and get a little girly/sexy for him. Maybe a little leg, a little heel…might serve to remind him that I am a fuckable female friend and not just a friend. And yet, since we are “just friends” I don’t want him to think that I dressed up just for him. Ugh! So now I’m being a stupid girl and over-thinking it!

Meanwhile, I bought a great pair of shoes to go with my favorite Spring dress and I’m trying to break them in by wearing them around the house with my night shirt. Imagine me in 5-inch burgundy platform heels and a blue striped night shirt while I unload the dishwasher!

So, I have to go figure out my clothes for the “friend date” tonight. And maybe pack an overnight bag with a change of clothes just in case…




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