Posts Tagged ‘friendship

14
Jul
14

Hometown letdown

A brief summary to catch you up: I am primary in a poly relationship that teeters on the brink of being monogamous. My guy has an active dating profile. I do not. We came to our relationship as poly people and it got serious and we really like spending time together so we do. I am fine being an ethical slut and have no objection to a poly lifestyle other than it can be time-consuming hard work and also I hate drama and bullshit. If there’s drama I’ll just pass, thanks. My fella and I have an active, frequent & satisfying sex life. Right now he dates and I don’t. But mostly he just talks to others. I’m certain that he hasn’t had sex with anyone else in the past seven months.

Every time I write about this I feel like I’m making excuses or justification. I guess it just feels a little weird and pseudo-patriarchal because he dates and I don’t. That’s not how it is.

He likes the variety, the conversation, the discovery, interest & admiration. I like intimacy, sex, sense of family, security & trustworthiness. I don’t like the games & bullshit so I don’t put myself out there to seek out new men & new adventures. However, I’ve been thinking about it. Also, I’m not opposed to it happening organically if it does. I like flirting and wouldn’t mind letting it go further if the opportunity was there. But realistically, unless the circumstances are really specific or unusual, there aren’t that many opportunities to say “oh hey, just so you know, my live-in boyfriend and I are poly and see other people so if you were interested in maybe going out sometime…”

Which brings me to a situation where I ALMOST had that exact discussion. Almost. We didn’t get that far.

There’s a guy that I dated back in high school. We’re Facebook friends. We keep in touch. He knows about this blog, my dating and we’ve shared a lot of naughty discussion over the years despite never having hooked up beyond heavy make-out sessions in the late 80s. He lives 2000 miles away or it might have happened by now, but he has a brother who lives about 35 miles from me who graduated with one of my siblings. Over the years, we had both commented on so many mutual Facebook posts that we finally became Facebook friends despite not having been friends previously. He’s attractive and while not local, he’s not far away either.

A few weeks ago during some generally Facebook chatter I said we should get together sometime this summer – it’s a shame that we don’t socialize since we live so close. He simply said he would love to. Okay, cool. I’m glad to socialize with someone from my hometown. Someone who is a friend of my brother. Someone who is the brother of a friend of mine. Yes. It would be fun to get together. Though I notice he used a lot of winky smiley faces. And I find him very attractive. And he’s a little flirty. And…should I ask him if he wants to get together with my man & I or just me? I mean, would that be presumptuous? Because honestly, I’m good either way. If we just hang out in a friendly way that’s cool. If we hang out and discover a deeper interest, that’s cool too.

We had a few brief texts about getting together, “I’ll check my schedule” type messages here & there, then I sent him a message saying that I would be attending a festival in his town over the weekend and he quickly & enthusiastically responded “sounds like I may be going down as well! :)” I then explained that I would be helping out at my guy’s sister’s booth and said I would help for a few hours during the high-traffic time of the afternoon but that I would be free to grab a drink and hang out. He gave me a “LOL – very generous! ;)” then dropped all contact.

I should be clear – my Facebook clearly states that I am in a relationship and I regularly post check-ins and photos of myself and my guy. So I hadn’t been misleading in case you think that saying “my guy’s sister” threw him for a loop. Nope. I figured we would meet someplace neutral and convenient, chat, have a drink and see if there was maybe potential for more and if so…I would explain my situation casually and without pressure. Given the new information he could then run with it by saying “oh wow – then we should DEFINITELY get together again!” Or say something like “oh man, I don’t know how you do that. I never could” or he could suggest that we should all go out sometime. Whatever. Something, right?

I sent him a text message on Wednesday to make sure he had my number. No response. I sent a FB message. No response. I sent a text the morning of the festival saying that the weather was nicer than expected & encouraging him to come down. No response. Later I sent a text asking if he was watching soccer & saying that I was enjoying a match and my first adult beverage of the day. I said he should come down & I would buy him a beer. Finally, I sent one last message on FB – just in case his phone number had changed since January when we last exchanged text. Meanwhile, he was posting & commenting on Facebook. Just…not responding at all to my messages.

I find this annoying. Hometown guy or not, romantic potential or not, if you’re going to blow me off could you maybe just communicate? How about “oh hey – wound up watching World Cup with some friends so today won’t work after all.” You can even leave off any “but let’s try again soon” if you don’t actually want to get together. I can handle it. But don’t act super friendly, enthusiastic & excited then just stop responding. It’s super weird. And quite unfriendly.

I’m debating whether I want to make the effort to say “hey, what happened?”

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22
Oct
13

Once I had a blog

Jesus. I used to have a blog.

Now I have…

  • A Facebook addiction. Hey, I’m level 31 on Game of Thrones & always in the top two on Bejeweled Blitz! 😉
  • Football season. It happens every fall – the NFL takes over my life.
  • A messy house, unfolded laundry & a constantly neglected “to do” list.
  • Friends that need me. These amazing people were there for me when my marriage was falling apart, my life was in the toilet and I was terrified. I worked hard at making sure that they were not neglected while I was in the intense early stages of this new relationship. Now, as I’ve settled into a more domestic stage of what has become a passionate love affair, I continue to work at maintaining, nurturing & protecting friendships. I’ve made the mistake of being too insular in the past and have blown off friends, family and other interests because I was focusing on my new love and ignoring everything else. I’m trying to be balanced and not lose the rest of the life that I value so much just because I’m in love with a man that I’m kinda giddy crazy about.

And oh yeah, I have…

A relationship. I mean, it’ really great. Really. But it’s moved fast and in unexpected directions. It’s tough to maintain what has primarily been a dating blog when I’m really only seeing one man right now. But there are still interesting stories that haven’t been told – bits & pieces that I have been experiencing and saving but not sharing because most nights I spend time continuing the discovery of this amazing man. And having mind-blowing sex. God DAMN the sex is great. I thank all the powers that be for a smart, funny, generous, big-cocked man with a decent sex drive who is really into ME! Thank you! Thank you! I like to think that karma brought him to me because I deserve it! Lord knows that I do!

Gushing aside, nothing is perfect. I have my frustrations, insecurities and areas for growth that I need to work on. This blog has been a great tool for working out my stuff and I’ve been neglecting it – which is just dumb. Writing for the blog is much like writing for a personal diary, but since there actually is an audience (however small you may be,) I find that I really make an effort to condense my thoughts and find a denouement or at least some sort of summary/life lesson to wrap things up. Even a bit of humor can really tie the room together and give me perspective. Having not written here in over a month, I find that without a sounding board, I get a little too introspective and tend to over-think things. This is my first new primary relationship in…26 years. I’m trying to learn from past mistakes and am forging a new path into this love. I’m discovering myself as much as I am my man.

Also, I am rather fond of my Risqué Divorcée persona. That bitch is fun, frisky & fearless! I need to tap into that bold, confident part of myself more often!

16
Sep
13

Eschewing Drama

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Editor’s note: drama is something that I have been trying to weed out of my life but is a rather powerful force that is difficult to avoid. I started writing this particular blog entry in early August 2013, updated it in mid-November and mostly finished it in January, 2014. However, while loading a photo before posting, my computer crashed and all updates to my draft were lost. I got pissed & put it away again.  Now I’ve pulled it out because I feel the topic deserves attention, and because it feels weird to have written so much without actually finishing something. 

The fact is, drama can be exciting and engaging and blind us to the fact that what we’re really dealing with are toxic relationships. It’s often tremendously difficult to leave those and I could write an entire book about that!  I initially had planned to write three “chapters” that covered episodes of drama in my life that were currently troubling at the time that I started this draft. Particularly, I meant to address the “drama queens” that were actively seeking attention at the time – The Ex, The High-maintenance Friend & The Other Woman. I finally decided that I should make it three separate entries because the first “chapter” became quite long. But then something interesting happened. As I was finishing the first section today, I realized that the other two sections no longer hold much weight. In fact, they are barely worth writing about, let alone having their own entry. The ex hubby & I are getting along pretty well and I haven’t had a nasty-gram from him in months. The other woman barely exists in my guy’s life now  – largely because he has also been working on getting rid of drama and limiting unhealthy relationships. Perhaps setting boundaries gave me more strength than I realized. Maybe getting rid of one drama queen made the others fall away as well. –RD

It’s true. I’ve been accused if being a drama queen. I fully accept the fact that I’m loud, direct & I like to spin a good yarn. I wouldn’t have this blog if I didn’t enjoy sharing humorous & dramatic tales. But lately I’ve coined the term “save the drama for the opera & the end-zone.” It’s just not always a good thing.

Sometimes drama is engaging, fun, exciting and riveting. Sometimes it’s energy-draining, hurtful, negative, time-consuming, nasty bullshit. Too often we get stuck in a cycle of drama with friends and in romantic relationships and it can be really difficult to get out. I have a long history of taking on other people’s pain, tragedy, angst and worry. It’s great to have empathy and compassion, but the past few years have found me learning the boundary between being a supportive friend and being used as fuel in someone’s drama-fest. I’m also trying to learn to not escalate my personal conflicts into big, dramatic episodes. I try to avoid or at least not ramp up these moments of strife while at the same time, not allowing myself to be a doormat. I guess I’m learning to pick my battles. I’ve always been direct but I’m trying not to be aggressive. As for being passive-aggressive? I’m trying to do away with that altogether. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

THE FRIEND  Speaking of crap I don’t have time for, I recently cut a friend out of my life after what was simply the last straw for me in her constant flow of high-drama, self-absorbed, narcissistic incidents. Seriously. I used to refer to her as “my high-maintenance friend” and many of our mutual friends had already grown tired of her conduct and cut her off. When I first got to know her a bit I used to downplay her behavior by saying “she’s just young and has some maturing to do.” I cut her tons of slack. I felt like I took on a sort of nurturing role of confidant who was helping to thicken her thin skin. I reasoned that her hypersensitivity might actually help me learn to be more thoughtful and sensitive in my communication too. How often was my “directness” considered abrupt and insensitive? I was absolutely willing to examine my own behavior.

We often had fun together – she is very smart, lively and witty. But her go-to emotion seems to be butthurt, in conflict or going through some sort of drama with a client, employer, landlord, neighbor, lover, friend, parent, sibling, cashier, server, ex, other drivers on the road, etc. It was ongoing and exhausting. Her Facebook posts were full of angst and conflict disguised as intellectual conversation. Soon I realized that she tends to bully people with her feelings – requiring that hers be validated in a very specific fashion, while downplaying or dismissing those of others.

My justification that “she’s just young” doesn’t really play either. My last straw happened on her 27th birthday. She had specifically requested a karaoke outing and I had enthusiastically accepted.  I asked if it was okay to include my niece who was visiting from college. She agreed but asked that it be “just girls” and no dates. It took a coveted Friday away from my fella, but I agreed. I shopped for a couple of small, personal, thoughtful gifts and a nice card. I also spent more than an hour on the phone with her that afternoon talking about her sister and her feelings having been invalidated because her sister cares more about her new baby than her (my ex-friend’s) feelings. Seriously, it was painful. An hour and a half of her saying how her sister having a baby was just one more thing for her to hold over her head. One more way that the sister is more successful. The entire conversation I never knew if the child was male or female or had a name. It was always “it” or “the baby” and occasionally “the damn baby” – gross.

Again, I give someone slack on their birthday in particular. I was kind and patient and I showed up that evening dressed nicely and with gifts in hand. She thanked me saying that I was the one person who always got her something for her birthday. They weren’t big or expensive, but they were thoughtfully selected for her. One was a nice, carved wood bookmark that she immediately put inside the book that she had brought with her. The other was a small, decorative pill box that you might keep safety pins (or perhaps Prozac) in. It was painted with a miniature of the Seattle skyline and she seemed very pleased to have received them. Ironically, the card read “Don’t be a Drama Queen – it’s just a birthday!” It proved to be quite prophetic.

We ordered drinks and food – I opened a tab with the intention of covering the bill for the three of us plus the two other friends that she was expecting. Meanwhile, I asked if she wanted to sing a duet, she said yes and I went over to chat with the karaoke host (a close friend of mine) and put in our song. I came back a few minutes later and told her we were all set and she said “No, no, no! I don’t want to sing that YET! I mean, I want to sing it, but I don’t want it to be the first thing I do.” Okay, I guess that’s why I asked you in the first place, but away I went to change the song (which the KJ had kindly put at the top of the rotation because of it being this gal’s birthday.) I chatted with him for a few more minutes about what to sing, what songs he’s been working on and general friendly chit-chat. Apparently when I was away the birthday girl lit into my niece saying asking what was wrong with me and saying she could tell that we were over there talking about her. My niece thought this was really crazy and it made her uncomfortable, but I didn’t know about it until later.

Food arrived and was virtually ignored by the guest of honor who was starting to get really spun up about the fact that her other two friends hadn’t yet arrived. She began texting to see where they were and encourage them to hurry up. When one of the friends messaged back that she wasn’t feeling well and apologized, saying she would take her out for lunch in a few days, but couldn’t make it out, the tantrums started. This 27-year-old adult human began whining “but it’s my birrrrrthdaaay! It’s only one day! She should have known better than to go to yoga and overdo it!” A text exchange then ensued wherein she blatantly guilt-tripped her apologetic (and apparently ill) friend. The friend, having said that her head was throbbing and she felt nauseous, apologized again and the birthday brat tapped in a response that said “you say that so frequently it no longer has any meaning to me.” She then turned her phone to me and said “what do you think? Should I send that? Is it too harsh?”

I responded very directly by saying “well, if you really want to escalate things, okay, but she’s not feeling well, offered to take you out another day and has apologized multiple times…”

Clearly, I had not given the response that she had wanted to hear, because she immediately started defending her aggressive retort. She got really shrill and said “but it’s true! You have no idea how frequently she apologizes – it’s just meaningless anymore!” Rather than engage further in what had become an absurd discussion, I simply said “well, you’re a grown-ass adult, do whatever you want.”

(Now, I feel as though I need to interject here – I use this phrase all the time to my friends. I feel like it’s a way to validate their decision to do what they want to do without asking me or anyone else for permission to do so. My niece, who was witness to this exchange, hears this from me often!)

Well, instead of laughing it off, considering my response or taking it as validation & moving on, she changed the focus of her attack to me. She sneered then looked stricken, asking me what was wrong with me and asserting that I had been in a bad mood all evening. Well, I kind of lost it. Years of her neediness, absurd demands and constant dissatisfaction and dissection of even the kindest comment had piled up to break this camel’s back. I finally said something. It’s been months and I would be hard-pressed to accurately quote exactly what I said, but it was something like “hey, you asked for my opinion. Just because you didn’t like my answer doesn’t mean that I am having my period.” I said that she was so busy bitching about her friends that hadn’t shown up that she was ignoring those of us who had actually bothered to come. What happened next what the straw that broke our friendship for good. Frowning, she silently stood up. Slowly, she took the bookmark out of her book, the birthday card & pill box out of her purse and laid them down on the table. She then turned to my niece and said “Olivia, it was nice to see you again,” before standing up and shuffling to the bar at a glacially slow pace while occasionally glancing back to see if anyone was going to chase after her and beg her not to go. Nobody was. She paid her portion of the tab and walked out.

I had given this person multiple chances – far beyond what others in our mutual social scene were willing to do. I was patient, calm, honest, kind and willing to listen and examine myself. I was the only one of her friends who actually managed to show up to her birthday celebration where she chose to complain, demand, tantrum and whine instead of having fun and enjoying the people and the present moment. It was the straw that broke this camel’s back for good. I literally got up and took a picture of the abandoned card and gifts on the table. I save it as a reminder NOT to get drawn back in. NOT to forgive and cycle through the same toxic crap.  Somewhere in my “nice” Judeo-Christian upbringing, I was taught to “forgive & forget” and to “be the better man” and resolve conflict (or at least ignore that it happened and never speak of it again!) I was taught to be loyal. That marriages, friendships, relationships last forever. I was never taught how to walk away. How to disengage. How to not care. How to essentially “give up” on something that wasn’t worth doing anymore. My “play through the pain” parents never gave me an example of how to say “no” or how to say “no more.” I’m teaching myself how to set boundaries that make me feel empowered and sane instead of guilty and bad.

With “the high-maintenance friend” I feel that I wasn’t really her friend. At best, I was a bit player in her ongoing drama but usually I was just set dressing or audience for her little show. The night that she walked out of her birthday party I unfriended her on Facebook. Not as a dramatic gesture and not even as a punitive gesture. As a finality. As a very real means of cutting off the feed of something unhealthy that was draining me with its demands and not really feeding me in any way. Funny thing is? For as much as I am sarcastic and snarky? I’m a good and loyal friend who is willing to forgive a lot if the other person is willing to consider their behavior and their treatment of me. Had my former friend sent me a message saying “hey, I’m really sorry how things went down on my birthday. Can we talk?” I may have responded positively. Instead, I got this message:

Wow. Seriously? Not even a message or a text?

It was my BIRTHDAY and you were giving me a hard time. Wtf.

I didn’t feel comfortable taking your gifts. It didn’t feel right.

Your complete lack of interest in conflict resolution is so opposite from my experience of you, thus far.

 

Yeah, screw you and get used to it. No more blaming me. I’m no longer willing to be anyone’s whipping boy. I ended a marriage that was nearly as old as you are and with far less drama. I’m done.

It doesn’t hurt. I don’t miss her. Why? Because even though I was a friend to her, she wasn’t a friend to me. It’s not like giving up salt or chocolate or wine – those things feed you and make you feel good. I gave up the equivalent of emotional rice cakes. Something I felt like I ought to like but I really didn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

29
Aug
13

Upcoming topics

Yes! There will be some! My schedule changes next week and I have quite a few blogs backlogged in my head right now. Here’s what’s coming up:

  • “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger” the ex drops a bomb that would have wiped me out not too long ago. I discover I don’t give a shit anymore.
  • “What Are You Afraid Of?”a very good question, posed by my boyfriend. Worthy of consideration and thoughtful contemplation.
  • “Butt Stuff” we haven’t talked about sex in awhile, have we? Let’s.
  • “Purging Drama” part of separating, divorcing & building a new life is letting go of the drama, co-dependency and unhealthy associations that drain you. This includes “friends” who demand too much.
  • “Overthinking vs. Thinking”something I struggle with.
  • “Bring Your A Game” does being in a poly relationship pressure you to be your best self all the time because you are always sort of “competing” for time & attention? Should it? Is this a bad thing?
  • “The Return of Little Pirate Bear” he’s back. Sorta. Not sure if he’s staying.
  • “Crossing the Streams” the pros & cons of knowing your lover’s other loves.
01
Jul
13

the risky prospect of offering your love…

Okay. I’m a lover. No, really. I’m not just talking about sex, dating & intimacy. I’m extremely demonstrative with my friends and…well…everyone. I’m the kind of person that says “thanks, hun, you have a great afternoon” to the cashier at the grocery store. I’m gregarious. I’m outgoing. I say “I love you” to lots of people.

It’s something that is frequently said & texted among my girlfriends & I. It’s how we end a phone call. Most of my friends hug & kiss me hello/goodbye. Both of the men that I’ve lived with in romantic relationships (including my ex-husband,) still exchange “I love yous” with me. The bartender at my regular watering hole/karaoke joint greets me coming & going with a hug. Recently, he’s started saying “love you, gal” when I leave and I naturally respond “love you too, baby.” It just feels right to share my love with these people. Even my curmudgeonly uncle says it to me & ends emails with “love” from him.

Yes, I like to share my love & affection with people that I care about. It’s just how I am and most of my friends seem to be equally expressive & demonstrative.

And yet…you can be sexually involved with someone in the most intimate way possible, have the most fantastic, intense, emotional, physical connection. Exchange fluids, conversation, trust…rim-jobs…and somehow the romantic aspect of that relationship makes those three words dangerous, weighted, terrifying & forbidden.

Oh, you can say “I love fucking you!” “I love your cock!” “I love it when you do that!” and the like, but Lord knows, saying “I love you” to someone who is actually a lover is risky business. Especially if you like how things are going & don’t want them to freak out, get all weird & run away – or to start picking out china patterns. You never know how it’s going to be taken! Or worse, if you will be offered the “I love you return” (as Seinfeld called it.)

Certainly, “I love you” means different things to different people. I think my writing so far gives you a sense of what it means to me. It’s something to be shared. Being someone who identifies as polyamorous may lend to my comfort at dispensing my love among many. To me, it lets them know that I value them as a person and a friend/family member, that I care about them – their health, well-being, activities – and that they are part of my chosen tribe of people.

In the movies & on TV there’s often a big, dramatic, climax when Harry & Sally finally figure out that they LOVE each other and that means lots of kissing followed by MARRIAGE and HAPPILY EVER AFTER. There’s a “love binary” that happens in fiction that often transfers to real-life – particularly with the typical monogamous construct. You “fall in love” and then are expected to be with that one person forevermore – loving them exclusively with a passion so bright & fresh that you would never consider being involved with another person ever again.

It’s not that way for me. If we are romantic partners and I say that I love you – it means that the words have probably been teasing my lips for weeks. It means that you are more than just a fuck. You are likely someone that I have felt an intense connection with. We’ve probably had some intense and insightful conversions. You are probably sensitive, thoughtful, kind, funny, weird, focused, goofy. You’ve made me laugh. You’ve probably made me cum. It doesn’t mean I want to marry you or be exclusive, but it means that I want us to have a relationship. One that lasts awhile. One that we enjoy. It means that even if we breakup sometime when it’s no longer good for us, that I will probably have a degree of love and affection for you. I care about you and I want you to stick around.

Is that really so scary?

(Yes.)

(But I did it anyway.)

Post Script…I came to a realization that I don’t really blog about men that I have feelings for. I blog about the ones that spurn me, hurt me, make me laugh, send me stupid messages that we can mock…the ones that I like a lot? They barely get a mention. I’m going to work on that.

Meanwhile, there’s this new guy. Poly. Two other girlfriends. Really great. Been seeing him steadily for about five weeks now. Emboldened by a fantastic day celebrating equality & gay pride yesterday and during a time that we were neither under the influence or having sex, I told him that I love him. I said “don’t freak out – it’s just a day for sharing it.” He said “oh, I’m not. I know. I love you too.”

The I love you return!

Yay! (<—-my actual response to him saying it to me.)

It’s not so scary, right?

15
Jun
13

It’s like they know!

I sit down with my coffee and open up a page to start a new post. Then I get a text asking me if I want to join friends at my city’s Pride Picnic this afternoon. Well heck, yes I do! I have awesome friends too & it can’t always just be about dating & men, right?

Anyway, I hope that you are all out enjoying sunshine, BBQs, Father’s Day preparations, loved ones, good friends, good sex and making fantastic memories! I’ll be back soon!

Two new topics I plan to hit are….

  • Getting dumped by someone you didn’t even find attractive in the first place
  • New serious interest & new relationship energy
  • More tales from Vegas – and why didn’t I snap a photo?!?

XOXO

17
Apr
13

Not waiting for the phone to ring, but will still answer…

I’m not sure that I’m feeling witty. I’m feeling tired & hungry, this is sure. But I wanted to post something because I know that I won’t have a chance to do so tomorrow unless I get up at an ungodly early hour. Little chance of that since it’s already past 3am.

Unexpectedly, plans developed late this afternoon to spend some time with C43 this evening. He’s the guy I could be crazy about if not for the fact that he feels “no sparks” and this has put us in a friend zone. Still, we have so much in common and I enjoy talking with him so much that I am willing to have a sexless friendship with him. I’m a human being after all – I have friends! Though I acknowledge being a sex-loving slutty human being who is hugely attracted to this man. What’s weird is that we have settled into a very comfortable friendship but…there’s still some lingering “maybe” residue that sometimes causes tension.

I mean, this is someone that I met through a dating site, fucked once and then…he got sick, I was out of town for two weeks…by the time we saw each other again things had sadly cooled. But I like him as a person a lot and figured we could be friends. I feel comfortable discussing almost everything with him and love hearing how his brain processes, argues & articulates points. We share a wicked sense of humor too. I value the person that he is and am willing to take what he offers in terms of a friendship.

Please note that I said that I can talk about “almost” anything with him. What we don’t talk about is other people that we date or fuck. In fact, if I had to wager, I would bet that he hasn’t been with anyone since he was with me in late November. I could be wrong, but that’s the vibe I get. Whereas…well, if you’ve been reading you know I’ve been keeping busy. Which is a good thing, I think. I’m delighted that my new & improved self isn’t sitting around pining for this guy who is so worthy of it in many ways yet so frustrating in others.

But if we’re “just friends” why don’t I feel comfortable talking about dating with him? He’s a writer and I would love to share this blog with him, actually. I think he would enjoy it quite a bit. Except for the fact that…well, not only does it mention him and my feelings about him, but it has some pretty detailed accounts of my exploits with other men as well. For some reason, despite being firmly in “the friend zone” I feel like we kind of still have one foot in the date zone. Let me reiterate, I’m not sitting around waiting for him to clue in and change his mind about us, but…maybe I am??

Points to ponder.

Meanwhile, I completely forgot about the fact that I signed up for OKCupid earlier today before I went to work. I found two messages there for me – neither of interest. Why the heck were there only two?!?!? I poked around there for a bit just now. Interesting. I’m intrigued by the number of marrieds & poly-folk there. It seems to be a much more intelligent and honest bunch than I have found thus far on Plenty of Fish. I will have to spend some more time there soon.




Categories

Quickies with the Risqué Divorcée!

  • Facebook "It looks like you're at Burger King. Check in to share with your friends." Me: shut the fuck up, Facebook! 10 months ago
  • RT @amyisprettycool: Ok, who wrote the Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer #SNL sketch because they just made America great again 11 months ago
  • RT @LuvPug: My husband thinks it's so cute when I speak to him with terms of endearment like 'honey' or 'cockblocker' 11 months ago
  • RT @SondraDeeMe: I've always had a soft spot in my heart for female T-Rex because the tampon insertion must've been really difficult. 11 months ago
  • RT @joss: To everyone who keeps saying "Go back to making jokes/films/etc", WHAT DO YOU THINK WE WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING 11 months ago