Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle

07
Mar
13

takin’ care of bidness!

Argh! Another boring post! No sex! Blargh! But snark! There’s snark! This morning I woke up and while still in that muzzy, dreamy place, wondered why I was awake so early on a Sunday. Wait, is it Saturday? “Bitch! It’s THURSDAY – GET UP!” Ugh. The good news is that I didn’t miss my weekend after all! The bad news is that my phone rang almost immediately afterwards. Not quite 9am. Unknown number but from a neighboring area code. That it’s the same area code that S32 is from did enter my mind briefly, but mostly I was thinking about the fact that I have had a couple of people use me for references lately and it was probably someone calling about that. Normally I don’t answer unknown calls. I must not have been fully awake. I was in a weak, pre-coffee state of momentary insanity…

I’m calling for XXX can you confirm that is who I am speaking with?

Yes, that’s me.

Good morning, Mrs. XXX, I’m calling from XYZ collections about your account with ABC that has been placed with us. I see you have a balance of $241. How will you be taking care of that today?

I’m sorry, I won’t be taking care of that today.

I understand if you are unable to pay the entire amount, I could possibly break it up into a few smaller payments, but I’m afraid that not paying it is not an option.

*scoffs* Of course not paying is an option.

Mrs. XXX, this account is from over a year ago. Don’t you feel that these people deserve to be paid for their services?

Certainly. However, it is not my intention to do so today.

Mrs. XXX, may I ask why not? Is there a reason that you are unable to pay at this time?

Yes, there is. But since anything that I tell you will be used for collection purposes and I do not wish to provide you with further personal information, I am going to terminate this call at this time and wish you a good morning.

Well, I will note your account, but I have to warn you, we have no other choice than to proceed.

Very well. Have a good rest of your day.

*click*

By all means, please do “proceed” – are you really going to sue me for some piddly $241 medical bill that I overlooked paying in the upheaval of my life during the past year? Bite me.  I mean, I have been doing okay and paying my stuff in a pretty timely fashion, but an old medical bill is just not a priority under my current financially conservative guidelines. And she annoyed me. “That’s not an option.” Bitch, please. This is not my first trip to the cotillion.

Shortly thereafter, my phone rang again with another unknown call. This time I didn’t answer and the message informed me that it was my cell company calling to let me know that my bill is past-due. Okay, this I knew about and had been avoiding dealing with because it required a call to fix a mistake that they made on my account when I got my new phone. (The sales rep apparently opened a new plan on my account instead of keeping me on my existing plan. Hello additional $79.98 + tax and fees each month!) Called Sprint (I will name them because they are awesome every single time I have to deal with them!) Got money credited, put a block on one of the kids’ phones because they had recurring monthly “premium service fee” for a custom ring tone. Buh-bye, $9.99 a month! Then I paid my bill and even a little extra towards the next one. Woot! Woot!

If I were a good kid (which we all know I’m not,) I would have followed all this productivity with a call to the cable company. But I was feeling accomplished. Why destroy that with a soul-crushing interaction with Comcast?

Next, I will do some billing and invoicing for work and then if I get enough done to satisfy my industrious self, I will come back and share the next online dating adventure.

Hoping that you love both my halo and my horns! 😉 –RD

04
Mar
13

What is this?

This is my first blog. Be gentle with me.

Allow me to introduce myself: I’m a 40-something woman who lives in the Pacific Northwest. Despite the blog title, I am not actually divorced yet, but I am legally separated. I have been living on my own since July, 2012 after deciding to end my marriage in April. This is the first time that I have ever lived by myself. It was a terrifying decision that was delayed by fear and co-dependency for a number of years. I was afraid that I would be lonely, broke, socially ostracized and never have sex again. While I have certainly had moments where each of these fears seemed very real and imminent, I am doing okay for the most part. I have remarkably supportive friends and family – including my ex – who keep me engaged socially and make sure that I don’t become a crazy cat lady. My kids are in college and don’t call mom often enough, but I hear that’s the case with most kids in college. Money is a lot tighter than it used to be when I was married, but I manage to pay my bills and live more comfortably than many Americans, I suppose.

My life and identity has been so wrapped around my spouse and my family for SO MANY YEARS that I was afraid to look and see if there was any me left once I was on my own. While being scared of not knowing who I was, I was also rather interested in finding out who I am and who I could be. While it continues to be an evolution, I have honestly been pretty impressed with myself. I have a career, hobbies, friends and interests outside of being WIFE and MOTHER. Good golly, I like me – I would even hang out with me! Interestingly enough, I have found that others want to as well!

I got engaged to my husband when I was 17. We married when I was 18. I had my first child at 22. Want to guess when I last dated? Yeah, it was the 80’s. Also, I was about half the weight that I am now. So when I decided in August, 2012 that I wanted to have sex again in my lifetime, I decided that it was time to start dating. Hoo! Scary stuff! Where do you begin? Well, that sounds like a different blog post, doesn’t it? Suffice to say, dating has been…interesting. With sex being the original goal, however, I would have to say that it has been successful beyond my wildest (and I do mean wildest,) dreams!

I feel like I have gotten to the point in my dating that I may be driving some of my friends crazy with my constant tales of adventures and men, men, men. I’m doing a little overcompensating, making up for lost time and maybe living those slutty college years that everyone else besides me seems to have had! My friends all tell me that they are living life vicariously through me. More than a few have suggested that I need to keep a journal or a blog or write a book! At the very least, I need to start keeping better track of what I said to whom – thank God for text & emails that I can reference!

I haven’t quite decided how I will organize this page. I want to tell about dates, challenges, sex and men, but do I start with my first dates in August and work my way back chronologically? Do I start with this week and forget the past? Or do I keep you up-to-date with current adventures and harken back to past tales during the slow spots? I think the latter will ultimately be what happens.

I’m also concerned about privacy. These are personal, sex-laden tales and I am not going to link to them on Facebook or Twitter, you know? I don’t talk about my dating at ALL on Facebook. I don’t want to embarrass my kids, make my ex, siblings, aunts, uncles & cousins, nieces & nephews uncomfortable, share that much detail or jinx it with any guys that I am seeing. Thus, the blog. Select friends and curious strangers can read at their leisure, but I don’t want to over-share with folks that would rather not know. I also do not “friend” anyone that I am dating on Facebook. To me, that’s akin to bringing someone to a family wedding and introducing them to everyone you know. NO! Right now I am only casually dating and only two men have even met any of my friends. (Okay, one lover met my neighbor briefly, but you get my point.) I am thinking of using first names for the guys, but may opt to use a first initial or first initial and age system. (J43 = John Smith, age 43 – yeah?) What do you think, dear readers? Obviously, in terms of privacy, if you happen to know my real name, please do not USE IT if you choose to post comments. Similarly, do not mention my city, my kids names, my ex, etc.  As I go along, I will have to decide whether I will name actual restaurants, grocery stores, bars & locations that I may frequent or meet people at. Also what about mentioning the names of actual dating sites? What are your thoughts?

There. My first blog entry. I promise that the next ones will be more interesting. But, as with life, you have to start somewhere and I just did!




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Quickies with the Risqué Divorcée!

  • Facebook "It looks like you're at Burger King. Check in to share with your friends." Me: shut the fuck up, Facebook! 2 years ago
  • RT @amyisprettycool: Ok, who wrote the Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer #SNL sketch because they just made America great again 2 years ago
  • RT @LuvPug: My husband thinks it's so cute when I speak to him with terms of endearment like 'honey' or 'cockblocker' 2 years ago
  • RT @SondraDeeMe: I've always had a soft spot in my heart for female T-Rex because the tampon insertion must've been really difficult. 2 years ago
  • RT @joss: To everyone who keeps saying "Go back to making jokes/films/etc", WHAT DO YOU THINK WE WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING 2 years ago