Posts Tagged ‘money

27
Apr
16

Not the kind of dick I prefer…

I just sent a demand letter to my ex-spouse.

I’ve never run a marathon, but I think what I am feeling right now might be similar to what someone might feel having just qualified to run Boston – empowered, powerful, free, successful…terrified as hell, sick to your stomach, scared to death by the challenges and hard work that lie ahead.

Yeah, I have butterflies…and not the good kind. I’m walking around the house alternately doing a little dance or fist pump and bending over to hyperventilate. Because I know that I am unleashing the Kraken. I know the other shoe is going to drop. I know he is going to lose his shit. And yet, in my MIND – which much smarter than my stomach, heart and adrenal gland – I KNOW that I have the upper hand. I KNOW that I have a superior bargaining position. I KNOW that I am well within my RIGHTS to protect myself and my finances and NOT allow him to screw me again. Literally or metaphorically. (Especially not with that tiny wiener and wham-bam style!)

During the last four years since we separated, I wanted the term “amicable divorce” to be a real and true fact. I tried my best to honor our marriage and family by not talking shit about my ex and not allowing others to do so either. I defended him, I forgave him and I took a very minimal divorce settlement in order to maintain peace, harmony and family. I made sure to project that image and maintain that cordiality and friendship even during challenging times.

Then he stopped making payments and told me to “have a nice life.”

Then he got served with foreclosure paperwork for the house we still own together.

Then he asked for my help in going together to settle with the bank.

…on a house that I don’t live in.

…for a house I haven’t lived in in 4 years.

….for a man who makes about 6 times as much as I do.

 Oh yes, and could you stop being so childish and asking for silly things like the file and paperwork pertaining to the case? You don’t need that. Why do you need your own attorney? I’m offering to pay for an attorney. Why won’t you answer my 5 phone calls in a row and 8 texts sent before 9:30 am on Saturday? Are you going to continue to be difficult because you are upset?

This is not the kind of dick I prefer!

I worked hard, served my time, put up with a lot, sacrificed and then sacrificed again for the good of my family.

Now I’m going stone cold bitch for the good of myself.

I told him I would be happy to work on the bank settlement with him as soon as he paid me the balance he owes me in cash because his credit is no good with me. Otherwise, I will gleefully drag this out another year then declare bankruptcy and leave him responsible for the full debt, any tax liability that might result from a deficiency being forgiven and substantial attorney fees. I’m told that the bank will not be willing or able to settle the case if I say I want to go to trial.

After nearly three decades of being charmed, bullied or manipulated into doing what this man wanted me to do, it feels really good to put my foot down.

After all, isn’t that how you win a marathon?

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09
Mar
13

Ironic

Gee, remember when I said that I needed to call Comcast? Argh! Please enjoy the irony resulting from me starting a blog and having my Internet shut off in the same week!

Yes, I guess that this was a calculated risk that I chose to take. About 3 weeks ago I got a bill for nearly $600. Apparently they had stopped auto-deducting for no reason and I was in arrears. Well, shit! I wasn’t super excited about paying the delinquent amount all in one fell swoop. I also would rather get a Brazilian than call Comcast customer service! Ugh! I needed to cancel the cable & keep the Internet but after a week or so they cut my cable off but the web access remained. I knew I needed to attend to the issue but wondered how long I could skate by.

Well, my answer came today I’m the form of a sexy yet somewhat hostile cable subcontractor named Greg. He disturbed my afternoon blog writing with a sharp “cop knock” applied to my front storm door. No doorbell for this fella. Heck no! After giving him a good scan through the peephole and being satisfied at finding him standing in the yard rather than on the porch, I opened the door. Greg informed me in a rich, baritone voice that he was here to collect the cable box and modem and do my disconnect. Poop. Did we have an appointment?

I asked him exactly that and inquired if it was possible to return the equipment and keep the Internet hooked up. He gave me this sort of blowoff “I’m just here to do the disconnect unless you want to pay the account in full” response. I said “okay, so how much would I need to give you in order to do that?” This seemed to completely knock him for a loop. He said “well, you’ll have to contact customer service. I have to do the disconnect regardless.” Thus began a little back and forth where I pointed out that he just contradicted himself and asked whether he was doing the disconnect regardless or if he could prevent it if I paid the full balance. I should say that I was using my most polite and reasonable tone throughout the exchange.

Tough collector/disconnector guy Greg finally said “look, ma’am, I’m not here to go back and forth and negotiate with you…” I said “no, absolutely. And I’m not attempting to negotiate, I am just trying to clarify your previous statement that you don’t need to disconnect if I pay the full balance.” Defeated, he said “yeah, I’m sorry. That was inaccurate. You need to contact customer service and get re-connected. But you really should do that anyway because you should close this account. You were really paying way too much a month.”

Oh I see, now we’re pals. I went inside and disconnected the equipment. I brought it out and got a receipt and we talked a bit. Suddenly he’s Mr. Chatty and even…um…is my radar off or is he being flirty? Jesus. He’s like 25! I’m in yoga pants! But I go with it and briefly consider making one if those corny porno scenes come true. Young cable guy with hard hat & tool belt and a voice that sounds like melted chocolate? Yum. I decide to push my luck as he tells me it’s his last day working in my area. I suggest that he could just leave the Internet on and nobody would be the wiser. I tell him that I don’t need the modem because I have my own and I see it…that moment of hesitation and consideration as he paused, partway up the ladder and thought about it. Then he turned and looked down at me with a big smile and said “yeah, sorry, I have to follow the work order. Unfortunately I don’t agree with everything they do.”

Aaawww…thanks sweetie. Sorry about your not getting laid on your last day and all. 😉 No! No! I’m a slut, after all. Exchanging goods or services for sex would make me a whore. Let’s not go there just yet!




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